A Trans-Friendly Escape: A Family’s Journey from Colorado to Queenstown

For Candace and Brandon, the decision to move their family from Denver, Colorado, to Queenstown was not one made lightly. It was a move driven by fear, resilience, and the desire for a safer, more inclusive life for their children — 12-year-old Holt and 10-year-old Chase, who is transgender.

Candace recalls the moment when the family knew they had to leave the United States. With the return of a political administration that threatened to roll back rights for LGBTQ+ individuals, the family felt the need to act quickly. “Ever since it looked like Trump was going to win again, we decided that should he win, we needed to have an escape plan,” Candace said. “On inauguration day, he signed an executive order that only recognized two genders, and it must align with your gender assigned at birth. I would have never in a million years thought it would come to this in America.”

The family had already faced challenges in accessing gender-affirming care in the US. Six days after Trump took office, they received a notification from the gender-affirming care department of their local children’s hospital: they would no longer provide medical services to trans individuals. “They would lose funding for other departments within the hospital if they did,” Candace said.

The move to Aotearoa, as Candace calls New Zealand, felt like the right decision. “There was something in my gut that just immediately felt right,” she said. Queenstown, with its outdoor lifestyle and welcoming community, seemed an ideal fit for the family, who have always been active and outdoorsy.

Arriving in late July, the family was struck by the warmth and openness of the people they met. “Everybody we’ve encountered has been so incredibly lovely,” Candace said, recounting how they were picked up from the airport by two senior staffers from Brandon’s new employer and lent a car. “Our landlord’s just been amazingly lovely. She’s like, ‘we’ll be your family away from family while you’re here. You can put us on your kids’ school forms as an emergency contact.’”

Brandon has started work as a sales rep for a winery in the Gibbston Valley, which sponsored their visas. The timing was perfect, as Candace had been laid off shortly before the move. The high cost of living in Denver had forced the family to consider temporarily relocating to Tennessee — a state Candace describes as “notoriously awful for trans folks.”

While the move has been a relief, Candace acknowledges the “extreme privilege” that allowed them to leave the US. “Financially it was quite a burden, but my best friend set up a GoFundMe for us, which helped alleviate some of that cost,” she said. “I have a little bit of survivor’s guilt almost that we were able to get out and there’s still so many folks who need to and want to, just can’t.”

Julia de Bres, from the New Zealand Parents and Guardians of Transgender and Gender Diverse Children, said Aotearoa is still the country she would feel safest raising a transgender child in. However, she noted that recent policies and ideologies have raised concerns. “We are currently experiencing similar pressures as other countries, with a rise in anti-trans ideologies and policies over the past few years,” she said.

While there are challenges, Candace is hopeful for the future. “Accessing gender-affirming care in Aotearoa will allow Chase to live fully as herself in her new home,” she said. “Living regionally means the family may have to go to Christchurch occasionally for this, but mostly the things that Chase needs can be done or monitored through a family doctor.”

Candace and Brandon are committed to staying in New Zealand for the foreseeable future. “Our visas are for five years, which is fantastic. Our plan is to stay here long term,” she said. “I’m not going to uproot them again, while they’re in school. So far everything has just sort of affirmed that this was the right decision and this was the right move for us.”

As Candace reflects on her journey, she remains focused on her children’s well-being. “My parenting philosophy was always, you be you as long as you’re not an asshole,” she said. “As a mom, I always knew my job was just to love my kids and follow their lead.”