Auckland University Lecturer’s Journey as a Trans Woman: A Story of Courage and Identity

Dr. Ciara Cremin, a sociology lecturer at the University of Auckland, has spent the last decade embracing her true identity as a trans woman. Her decision to come out 10 years ago was not just a personal revelation—it was a profound act of courage that changed her life forever.

Speaking to Greg Bruce, Dr. Cremin reflects on the risks and rewards that have come with living authentically. She made the decision to come out in front of her students, stepping out of the role of Colin and into the identity of Ciara. It was a moment that felt both terrifying and liberating.

"It’s like moving to another country, like changing one’s profession and going somewhere completely new," she says. "These are profound decisions we take in life, and they’re choices, because, in many of those instances, you don’t have to move abroad, you don’t have to take up another career." For Dr. Cremin, coming out was a choice that felt as natural as breathing.

She describes the moment of coming out as a "F*** it" moment, a moment when she felt like a coward and decided to be more courageous. "I thought: ‘I need to be more courageous and just do it.’" And she did.

The initial reaction from her students and colleagues was surprisingly positive. "I thought, ‘Wow, I’ve got away with this.’ The students were fine about it. My colleagues were fine. I got over a huge barrier." Yet, the journey was far from easy.

"If I’d contemplated this would be it for me, that for the rest of my life I’d have been living as a woman, I would not have come out," she admits. "I would not have been able to handle the implications of that." The dangers she now faces as a trans woman are unlike anything she experienced as a man.

Dr. Cremin has been leered at by men, seen as a sexual object, and no longer feels safe traveling to the United States or Britain. "I am subject to discrimination and hostility like I have never been before. I’ve gone from being white, heteronormative middle class, male privileged… and then, overnight, I’m ‘other’." To protect herself, she often travels in disguise, as a man.

Despite the challenges, Dr. Cremin has found a sense of purpose and freedom in her new identity. "For me, being a woman means not having to ‘do masculinity,’ and that, I say, is liberating." She emphasizes that while the journey has been difficult, it has also been transformative.

"I sometimes wonder, if I hadn’t come out, whether I would have even survived," she says. "I, like anybody else, have moments of depression, boredom, frustration, and as you get older and older, and life seems sometimes less and less meaningful, you find yourself in a box. And I think transforming my life in this way got me out of that and made life seem suddenly interesting again." For Dr. Cremin, coming out was not just a decision—it was a lifeline.

She also reflects on the impact her story has had on others. "I’ve had people get in touch with me privately—and people in retirement—say ‘I’ve always wanted to live as you have, but I can never pluck up the courage.’ And it’s tragic because you think of how much they must regret their lives that they didn’t come out 20-30 years ago." Dr. Cremin believes that sometimes, the most important decisions are the ones we make in the moment.

"I think sometimes you have to say that: ‘It’s now or never.’"