A Shocking Violation of Trust and Safety

A 35-year-old man from Tauranga has been sentenced to four years and one month in prison for the violent rape of his ex-wife, which occurred in the same bed as their 5-year-old daughter slept nearby. The incident, which took place in their shared home, has left the victim grappling with long-term emotional and psychological trauma.

Victim's Heartbreaking Testimony

During the sentencing hearing, the victim delivered a victim impact statement that revealed the profound emotional toll of the crime. She described how, despite their separation, she had attempted to co-parent with her ex-partner in a respectful manner. The couple had been living in the same house, sleeping in separate bedrooms, but the situation escalated into a horrific violation of trust.

The man, whose identity is protected for legal reasons, entered the woman’s room late at night and asked to lie in the bed so he could be close to their daughter. After a consensual hug, the situation turned violent. The victim stated, “The man I once trusted violently raped me in my own home with our daughter sleeping next to me.”

She emphasized that the attacker was not a stranger but the man she had married and the father of her child. “This wasn’t a stranger, this was the man I married, the father of my child, someone I believed loved me... it broke my sense of who I was,” she said.

Emotional and Financial Consequences

The attack left the woman struggling with sleep, energy, and appetite. She experienced panic attacks and found it difficult to feel love for her children. “They have always been my world. It took me nearly nine months of therapy and hard personal work just to... [reconnect] with my emotions,” she said.

Following the incident, the woman was left to parent alone, and the man made no financial provision for their daughter before the potential guilty verdict. “I was the one attacked, and yet I’m the one paying for it in more ways than one,” she said.

For three years, she faced judgment from friends and the man’s family, who believed she was lying because she continued to co-parent with him. “No one outside truly understood what I was navigating legally, emotionally, and for the wellbeing of my children. I was judged for smiling in photos, for coping... it felt like the more I tried to heal, the more others doubted me.”

Judge's Ruling and Legal Context

Judge Bill Lawson presided over the case and noted that the man had continued to deny the rape despite being found guilty by a jury. The judge emphasized that the evidence clearly showed the woman had not consented to the act. “She was crying and she was trying to push you away,” the judge stated.

The man had followed the woman to another room where he apologized, and later apologized to her sister over the phone. “In other words, you had admitted what you had done,” Judge Lawson said.

The judge acknowledged character references from the man’s former partner, business associates, colleagues, and friends, who described him as a devoted father and a kind, generous, and hardworking individual. However, the judge stressed that the presence of the 5-year-old daughter in the bed, the breach of trust, and the inherent violence of the attack were aggravating factors.

While the 5-year-old was not awake or aware of the incident, the judge noted that the mother was aware of her presence, which may have impacted her ability to act. “There may well have been some ambiguity around the arrangements for your sexual connections in the past, but I do not accept there was any ambiguity at the time of this sexual violation by rape,” the judge said.

The judge accepted that the co-habitation, co-parenting, and the consensual hug may have created confusion for the man. However, he emphasized that there were clear signs of a lack of consent that any reasonable person would have recognized and stopped. “You didn’t do that,” the judge said.

Sentencing and Aftermath

Judge Lawson adopted a starting point of five-and-a-half years’ imprisonment, giving a 15% discount for previous good character and a 10% discount for the impact of incarceration on the man’s two children. The final sentence was four years and one month. Tears were shed by the man’s supporters as he was led away from the Tauranga District Court.

Crown prosecutor Caitlin Bourke highlighted the aggravating features of the case, including the breach of trust, the presence of the daughter in the bed, and the inherent violence of the attack. The judge’s ruling underscores the importance of recognizing and respecting consent, even in situations where there may be a history of intimacy or co-parenting.

Conclusion

This case serves as a stark reminder of the devastating impact of sexual violence and the importance of upholding consent in all relationships. The victim’s courage in speaking out and the judge’s firm sentencing reflect a commitment to justice and the protection of vulnerable individuals. As the man begins his prison sentence, the community is left to grapple with the broader implications of such crimes and the need for continued support for survivors.